pick up

 Hey baby, what’s shakin’?

Piss off you stanky loser jerk!

 

How do you know I’m a Jerk?

I know what jerks look like, and you look like a jerk!

 

What specifically makes me look like a jerk to you?

I don’t know, I just feel icky with you nearby so therefore I reckon you’re a jerk

 

How does what I’m doing cause you to choose to feel icky?

What… Um, you’re really pissing me off now.

 

That’s right, I am aren’t I?

Why are you hassling me, can’t you tell I’m not interested?

 

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I know you weren’t interested, but what would happen if you were?

When would now be a good time to begin becoming interested?

For the love of God, I’m so sick of guys like you always trying to get into my pants.

 

Always?

How do you know anyone would be interested in getting into your pants? After all, they look pretty daggy to me.

Well you’ve approached me in a bar and that must mean that you want to sleep with me.

 

How does me enjoying a spirited conversation with you mean that I want to sleep with you?

Chatting to a girl in a bar suggests that as being the intention.

 

According to whom?

Look, you’re making me and my friends actually feel quite ill, you’ll never have a chance with me so you’ll have to get away from me before things get worse.

 

Never?

Have to?

What things and how specifically could they get worse?

Why are you choosing to feel ill?

How do you know your friends feel that way?

What would happen if instead you all felt completely orgazmic with or without my sparkling presence?

Oh screw it, I give up – let’s go back to my place.

 

You give up on what specifically?

Resisting your crap, so there ya go – you win, let’s head back to my place and get it on.

 

How specifically?

NLP fans – The Meta Model Pick-up

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